Continuity...???

It's not that there's anything wrong with your life or anything, it's just a boring sensation, you are doing okay, with your work, study, hobbies, family and friends, getting along with people, no tension, no fights, no big deals, no one is really bugging you, nothing specially annoying.

It's been a struggle my life that is; i was a child and it wasn't easy but it was fun, and then a teen and it was a wavey phase of my life, everything was constantly changing, and i was on the doors of twenties, and it was nice to feel mature, and now i'm officially an adult, young adult and i've been struggling to pass all that, but now that i'm 22 and life is finally balanced, nothing is specially easy and nothing is specially hard, you know who your friends are, you know who your mates are, you know who your enemies are(almost), you know whom to talk to and you know who can't get closer to you...

You know how to do "your stuff", you know what you need, you basically figured out what you like, what your favourite colors are, there's nothing you are waiting specially, you've your study and it's going, time is passing, you've also your other activities, you deal with your dark side sometimes and it's been the same for a decent period of time and it's not changing...

Even your friends have became part of the routine, you know when to call them, you tell them basically the same stuff, you do together the same stuff, you fight over the same stuff...Even those who you get to meet rarely, you meet them at constant time intervals, every 3 months, every 6 months, once a year...

Even your moments of madness occurs constantly at the same rate, you've a very well balanced life, even meeting new people, happens at constant rate. Even sports are all the same, you live in the same city, get the same lengthy walks around the same places, it's really tiring...

Even going some where well exposed to the sun and fresh air, having your coffee and iced capuccino with a friend in the morning, empty headed and careless, even that is so frequent...

So this is the part when it's all settled, when you are finally having some continuity, and nothing, nothing is interrupting that. This sounds scary to me, i'm not used to it, actually i don't want it. I want some new adventure, how about flying around the world in 30 days?? Maybe i need more money to do that...How about going south, some new places, different colors, foods?? Well i'll wait for the vacation, and south is kinda too hot for my liking, and there's no where on earth i'll fly for some european country, no more visa lines and freaky obstacles...How about Russia?? Sounds good or maybe i could go to Georgia they have a mountain province on my name, or Kazakhistan it seems beautifull, maybe Ukraine, and buy some old soviet cameras...Maybe the other half of the earth, it's gonna be winter there when it's my summer, i can go to Australia(that sounds a bit boring), maybe Argentina, it's kinda expensive though, or Morocco/Tunisia?? Or China?? And eating huge shrimps...Lots of sea food in Indonesia too. I can't even decide, which sounds very familiar...

In the mean while i'll fix my cameras, clean my watch crystal and learn how to grow herbs in the pots i bought today and use the soil i got...Oh i need some seeds, maybe i'll wait and buy some tomorrow. Also i need to start my new tropical fish tank(salty this time), i need to start buying new equipment and clean the tank. Or maybe buy some new books to read, reading is such a good routine...

It'll be interesting to eat mint you planted, and maybe i'll bring out my fish equipment, wondering when and where again like i do every year...Maybe it's time to do it!!!

Mea culpa

Yes it's my fault, you know when you criticize yourself in a way infront of someone else, only to boost a trivial conversation and it turns up against you??
Yeah when you do that expecting that this someone will make you feel better when he/she tells you(only by courtsey) that it's nothing and that you are being too hard on yourself, which happens occasionally if you did really pick the right person to speak with...

But you naively do that infront of a person that suffer some inferiority complex, and not only listens and agrees with you but also can add loads of nonesense to it to make you feel that you are a piece of junk??

This is the point when you quickly grab your secret weapons and start the automatic self defence procedure, launching a remorseless attack, slaughtering the poor creature that has only used a chance to feel on par with you, used a rare chance to get to you.

It's annoying that you have always to do that, though you've merely denied that what he/she said was true, but you spontaneously do it the same way a lion dig his teeth in his prey. The difference is that you look more civil with pride and dignity, like a conqueror maybe, that's how you get plauses and praise, well done, they say...

It's a wild world...